God Wants Us to Submit Our Words
(from the Book of James)
 Controlling My Tongue
Do you have something to say? Does anyone listen? More than anything else we may ever do, our words have the power to lift us to high places, or destroy us altogether. And, unfortunately, our words can do the same thing to those around us. Most of the trouble we encounter in our relationships has been the result of words.
 Proverbs 10:20
When a good man speaks, he is worth listening to, but the words of fools are a dime a dozen.
There are so many ways that we use words. And many of them are very evil. We often use words to mask who we really are. We are so concerned about how we look in front of others that we often design our words specifically for the occasion. We are willing to sacrifice truth and kindness and godliness in order to fit in.
Proverbs 26:18
A man who is caught lying to his neighbor and says, “I was just fooling,' is like a madman throwing around firebrands, arrows, and death! Fire goes out for lack of fuel, and tensions disappear when gossip stops.
Ephesians 4:25
Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves.
So much of the lying and puffing up and dishonesty that is found in our words is in the form of gossip.
My Life, My Problems
It’s your life and your life comes with its own set of problems. When it comes to words, we have to admit that we like to gossip. The Book of James has some very practical information that we can look at to understand what life might be like if we lived it God’s way instead our own way.
James 3:1-2
Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
Why do you think we gossip and try to look like we know what we are talking about? Is it because we want to look like we are ‘in the know’? Or is it because we want to raise ourselves up by lowering others?
Is It Gossip?
Whether we are trying to look like the wise teacher who knows everything or are simply trying to lift ourselves up at another’s expense, we need to start by defining ‘gossip’. Take a minute and try to decide if the following incidents would qualify as gossip:
1. Ann calls Nicole to tell her that Susan just broke up with Tom - which is true.
2. Bill tells Mike and Jim that he heard that Liz will sleep with any guy who takes her out.
3. Teri’s at lunch with Cyndi and Stacey. She tells Stacey that Cyndi got a bad evaluation from her boss.
4. Tony tells Brad that he’s really mad at him.
5. Connie tells Rick that Denise likes him. Denise never said anything about Rick to Connie.
6. Jason tells Ben that Dave told him that Garrett said he slept with Stephanie
7. Jan tells Bridget how much the card she got from Laura meant to her.
8. Kelly tells Jeannie that Amy said that tiffany said that Jennifer said that Annie said that Cathy said that Brittney wants to divorce her husband.
OK, here’s a good operating definition of ‘gossip’: you are gossiping anytime you finding yourself talking about people in destructive ways when they aren’t around. It doesn’t matter if you are just trying to look like you know something or if you are really trying to do some damage. Either way, it’s wrong.
1 Peter 2:1
Get rid of your feelings of hatred. Don’t just pretend to be good! Be done with dishonesty and jealousy and talking about others behind their backs.
My Life Lived His Way
Ready for a change? Want to try living life the way that God designed it to be lived? The first key to controlling your tongue is to mind your motives. God never says anything without a reason we need to understand the motives behind the words we speak
Love Me, Don’t Criticize Me!
How many of us truly enjoy being criticized? None of us. And critical words truly kill. They kill our spirit, our energy, our passion. Worse than that, critical words actually start trouble:
Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words cause quarrels.
Look at what Jesus says about the source of our words:
Matthew 12:33-37
“You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.'
My Life, My Problems
When it comes to our words, I also have to admit that we like to criticize. So let’s go back to James for more help:
James 3:3-8
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
How can we control our desire to criticize (put a bit in it)? Is it a matter of will power? Or is it a matter of changing our hearts?
The Three P’s
Let’s ask three simple questions when we feel the urge to criticize. If we are careful to try to ask these questions BEFORE we open our mouth, there is a good chance we willl say something that is more honoring to God.
First, we have to ask, ‘why shouldn’t we criticize?’
Proverbs 18:6
A fool gets into constant fights. His mouth is his undoing! His words endanger him.
So here is our answer:
 Putdowns cause you trouble!
Second, we have to ask, ‘how should we respond?’
1 Thessalonians 5:14 and 15
See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to everyone else.
So here is our answer:
 Payback makes things worse!
Third, we have to ask, ‘what’s the better plan?’
1 Thessalonians 5:11
So encourage each other to build each other up, just as you are already doing.
So here is our final answer:
 Promote each other!
God is calling us to rely on his power and guidance when we use our words:
Ephesians 4:31
Stop being mean, bad tempered, and angry. quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.
My Life Lived His Way
ready for a change? Want to try living life the way that God designed it to be lived? The second key to controlling your tongue is to contain your criticism. God wants you to recognize your own condition and see that we are far too fallen to ever cast stones at others
Your Words Reflect Your World
Aside from gossip and criticism, the last area that we need to address is the use of foul language (obscenities):
Proverbs 11:9
Evil words destroy; godly skill rebuilds.
I recently saw a parody of cartoons in which lovable characters were talking in terrible ways, spewing all kinds of obscenity. I couldn’t help but notice how odd it seemed to see bad stuff coming out of characters that had been portrayed as innocent in the past. The same kind of shock should be felt when we see ourselves as the source of bad language. If we belong to Christ, how can we allow this kind of language to come from us?
I can also remember when I first came to faith, that I had a strong desire to correct my bad language. I began by exchanging benign words for the vulgarities that I had been using in the past. But in tough situations, I found myself using the replacement words with the same venom that I used to use the bad language. Nothing had really changed, and I believe now that God is no happier with my language. God wants me to work on my insides, and he is less concerned with the replacement words I use. It’s not the words we say, it’s the way we feel. Look at what Jesus said about our words:
Matthew 15:10-11
Jesus called the crowd to him and said, 'listen and understand. what goes into a man's mouth does not make him ‘unclean,’ but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him ‘unclean.’
My Life, My Problems
When it comes to our tongues, we also have to admit that we like to use worldly language. So let’s go back to James for more help:
James 3:9-14
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.
Why is it so easy for us to be hypocritical with our words? Is it because we get caught up in the environment? Or is it because we will do anything to fit in? Take a minute right now to pray that God will help you see that you belong to His Kingdom. He is ever present and watching. Ask Him to help you control your desire to conform to our world with the language you use.
My Life Lived His Way
Ready for a change? Want to try living life the way that God designed it to be lived? The third key to controlling your tongue is to wash your words. God is holy. Everything that comes from God is holy. God wants your life to be holy too. Everything that comes from you must honor God’s nature.
Finding the Right Words
Sometimes it’s easy to know what we are doing wrong, but hard to make positive changes. Look at what Jesus has promised us as His children:
Luke 12:11
'and when you are brought to trial before these Jewish rulers and authorities... don't be concerned about what to say in your defense, for the Holy Spirit will give you the right words even as you are standing there'.
The Tank Principle
Are your running people over with your gossip, criticism and worldly language? Here’s some very practical advice: if your words don’t fit in the following categories, simply don’t say anything. Every time you have the opportunity to speak, ask yourself, are my words:
True?
Absolutely
Necessary? or
Kind?
If your words qualify in these areas, then they are probably consistent with the heart of God, who will provide us with power words if only we will let Him:
Luke 21:15
I will give you the right words and such logic that none of your opponents will be able to reply!
What Would Happen If I Lived My Life the Way That God Wanted Me to Live It?
Imagine a life in which there was no pain from the things that we say or the things that were said to us. Imagine a world where people reached their potential because they were constantly encouraged with words. Imagine a world with no gossip, no criticism, no vulgarity. It is a world that could exist if only we would live our lives God’s way. | 
